it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
