haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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