we're blogging at a bar
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
