Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
