Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
