She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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