During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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