Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
