everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
