so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
