If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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