He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
