lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize