so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
