I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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