I look better un-naked...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
