so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
