HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
