matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
