I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
