dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
