susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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