why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
