grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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