You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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