so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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