Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
