i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
