Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
