Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
