End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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