I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
