nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize