My hair reeks of homosexuality.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize