last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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