I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
