Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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