I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
