Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
