How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
