Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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