omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
