we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Someone signed my nipple.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
