It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
