pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
