Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
