so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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