Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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