That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
