69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Mom said you looked used
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
