You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
