I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
