OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
