Say something about gay babies.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
