You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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