the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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