a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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