He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Barsexuality is the new black.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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